Here's a quick walk through the Bible, as seen by some elementary students in a Catholic school.
The first book of the bible is called guinessis. God created the world. When he got tired, he took the sabboth day off.
God created Adam and Eve from an apple tree.
Samson killed hundreds of Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.
Samson was a really strong man who let himself be lead astray by a Jezebel called Delilah.
Noah built an ark. The animals came to it in pears.
Noah's wife's name was Joan of Ark.
Lot 's wife was a pillar of salt during the daytime and a ball of fire when it got dark.
Moses lead the people to the Red Sea. There they made unleavened bread. That's bread without any ingredients.
All the Egyptians got drowned in the desert. After that, Moses climbed Mount Cyanide and got the Ten Commandments.
The first commandment - Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
The seventh commandment - Thou shalt not admit adultery.
Moses died before reaching Canada.
Joshua lead the Hebrews into the battle of geritol.
The greatest miracle recorded in the bible - Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
David had a son named Solomon. Solomon had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
David was a Jewish king who was good at playing the liar. He fought the Finkelsteins.
When Mary heard that she would be the mother of Jesus, she sang the magna carta.
The three wise guys from the east found Jesus in a manger.
St. John the Blacksmith poured water on Jesus' head.
Man does not live by sweat along.
The Golden Rule says that you should do unto others before they do one to you.
The men who followed Jesus were called the 12 decibels.
The Epistles were the wives of the Apostles.
Matthew was one of the opossums. He was also a taxi man.
Hold acrimony is another name for marriage.
Christians can have only one spouse. It is called monotony.
Mind you, this is NOT what I'm teaching in Sunday School. You can find more of these funny jokes/stories at http://www.jokesclean.com/ChristianJokes
1 comment:
I've been playing a Bible tic-tac-toe in Missionettes for a few years now. Mind you, simple questions that you would think everyone would know. I often wonder myself what are they learning?? I don't think some of the lessons are focusing on the basic Bible stories that we grew up on. Everyone should know them!! I've even told parents of older kids who are recently saved to go buy a children's BIble and read the stories over and over again to learn them.
Funny post!
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