I've been in a sad state for several days and didn't really put two and two together until yesterday. You see, today marks 10 years that my mom passed away. I'd like to say that it doesn't affect me.. that you "get over" it. But you don't. In fact, this day hurts so bad every year. You realize that time has marched on... life continued...but you weren't able to share your trials and victories with that special someone. Do I wish things were different? That's a tricky question. If my Mom would have been able to live a healthy, vibrant life... of course! But would she have continued on a path of cancer filled with pain, suffering and discomfort? How can you wish that on someone you love?
You'll have to excuse me if I'm somber. It's just that in some ways I feel she missed the best part of my life... my wedding, the birth of my child, etc. The last ten years was me living out my dream! But my dream never included my mom not being here for it. But, God knows... God is still faithful and she is in a better place. I guess in her eyes, she might say that she was here for the best years... when I was little, finding my way in this world, making choices, and learning to lean on Jesus through every trial in life. Before she passed away, she told me that she wasn't worried about me. Even though I was still single and my brother and sister already were married, she told me that she knew I would be okay. She took my hand and looked me in the eye and told me that she was proud of me and that I just needed to hold on to Jesus- no matter what life threw at me.
So, please just think of my family today and send some prayers up for us. I guess I'll just close in between my tears by thanking God for a wonderful Mom and the years we were blessed to have her with us.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Change & Trust
By Gini Andrews:
"Life for most of us is not a steady-paced stroll through time with a beginning, a middle, and an end, like a well-constructed play. It's filled with change. We change schools, careers, homes, relationships, and "images" almost as casually as our great-grandparents changed horses.
Not that all change is by choice. Tragedy strikes and our lives change forever. Cherished friendships change in character or another person's choice cuts directly across our own, bringing us where we never wanted to be.
A career change, voluntary or involuntary, may disrupt our lives, leaving us searching for the chain that holds the beads of our lives together. Financial losses sweep away our props. Even geographic change can be disorienting.
And always there is the unchangeable, the irreversible. We long to go back and begin again, to undo our mistakes. Impossible, of course. When we pull out the nails of our failures, the ugly holes remain.
For the believer, then, the question is vital: Is our God the Lord of change? Will he be with us in change, especially when it strains our trust to its limit? Ironically, while we trust him with our eternal fate, we may find it difficult to trust him for next month's car payment, a new relationship, or an unexpected turn in our lives. The assumption that the Almighty is unacquainted with the complex people he has made keeps us hanging onto bits and pieces of our lives, deceived by Satan's ancient lie that God does not want the best for us.
In a threatened world, in the kaleidoscopic whirl of our life patterns, it can be enormously reassuring to remind ourselves that God is unchanging: "I the Lord do not change". (Malachi 3:6)"
"Life for most of us is not a steady-paced stroll through time with a beginning, a middle, and an end, like a well-constructed play. It's filled with change. We change schools, careers, homes, relationships, and "images" almost as casually as our great-grandparents changed horses.
Not that all change is by choice. Tragedy strikes and our lives change forever. Cherished friendships change in character or another person's choice cuts directly across our own, bringing us where we never wanted to be.
A career change, voluntary or involuntary, may disrupt our lives, leaving us searching for the chain that holds the beads of our lives together. Financial losses sweep away our props. Even geographic change can be disorienting.
And always there is the unchangeable, the irreversible. We long to go back and begin again, to undo our mistakes. Impossible, of course. When we pull out the nails of our failures, the ugly holes remain.
For the believer, then, the question is vital: Is our God the Lord of change? Will he be with us in change, especially when it strains our trust to its limit? Ironically, while we trust him with our eternal fate, we may find it difficult to trust him for next month's car payment, a new relationship, or an unexpected turn in our lives. The assumption that the Almighty is unacquainted with the complex people he has made keeps us hanging onto bits and pieces of our lives, deceived by Satan's ancient lie that God does not want the best for us.
In a threatened world, in the kaleidoscopic whirl of our life patterns, it can be enormously reassuring to remind ourselves that God is unchanging: "I the Lord do not change". (Malachi 3:6)"
Friday, April 23, 2010
Guys Day
Every Friday that Steve is off from work is "Guys Day". Chris loves this day because it is the one day of the week that Steve will drive him to school in the convertible. It's a big deal and he loves it. Occasionally I am invited along. Today was not one of those days and it's okay because on these special days I actually gain an extra half hour into my day. It's an amazing thing.
Now don't get carried away with visions of me rolling over in bed for an extra half hour of sleep. That simply does not happen. In fact, today's half hour included sweeping and mopping, vacuuming and now a quick blog entry. Who knew that an extra half hour could mean so much to a happy homemaker!?
I have a few more minutes of alone time and since I already did my devotions and I'm scheduled to go walking with a friend in about 20 minutes, maybe I can sit down and just rest for a minute! What a concept!!!
Now don't get carried away with visions of me rolling over in bed for an extra half hour of sleep. That simply does not happen. In fact, today's half hour included sweeping and mopping, vacuuming and now a quick blog entry. Who knew that an extra half hour could mean so much to a happy homemaker!?
I have a few more minutes of alone time and since I already did my devotions and I'm scheduled to go walking with a friend in about 20 minutes, maybe I can sit down and just rest for a minute! What a concept!!!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
The Tub
While filling the bath tub for Chris last night, I turned off the hot water side before the cold (not simultaneously) so he got a burst of cold water splashed on him for a quick second. The shock just made him sit straight up for a quick minute and smiled.
"Chris, I"m so sorry about that! I didn't mean to give you a little jump there at the end by turning off the hot water and not the cold at the same time."
"It's okay, Mom -- I love you.. even when you make a mistake."
That just melted my heart. I thought to myself how much that statement reflects God's own love for us. He loves me even when I mess up. We are so blessed to be loved by a such a forgiving, gracious and merciful God.
Have a blessed day everyone.
"Chris, I"m so sorry about that! I didn't mean to give you a little jump there at the end by turning off the hot water and not the cold at the same time."
"It's okay, Mom -- I love you.. even when you make a mistake."
That just melted my heart. I thought to myself how much that statement reflects God's own love for us. He loves me even when I mess up. We are so blessed to be loved by a such a forgiving, gracious and merciful God.
Have a blessed day everyone.
Friday, April 16, 2010
The Card
I love buying cards... I put a lot of thought usually into birthday cards and anniversary cards, especially for my husband. So, this year I got the perfect card, filled it out and had it ready to go. The day before our anniversary, I was cleaning out a draw in my bedroom and discovered some cards from the previous year. Birthday cards, Mother's Day cards, anniversary cards and just really was going through them. It's nice to go back and see what people have written to you.
Anyway, as I was going through the stack of cards, I discovered THE SAME EXACT CARD THAT I JUST BOUGHT MY HUSBAND. Yep.. I had managed for two years in a row to buy him the same card. I've come to the conclusion that Hallmark must have fallen on tough times and they have not been able to hire new writers or give pay increases to their current ones. That must be the case if only ONE card draws my attention.
The icing on the cake was when my husband gave me THE SAME EXACT CARD that he bought me last year on our anniversary. Honestly, I probably wouldn't have known the difference except I had just cleaned out that drawer of cards. Needless to say, we had quite the laugh. Next year I'm just going to make one out of construction paper and glitter..well, maybe not glitter.
Anyway, as I was going through the stack of cards, I discovered THE SAME EXACT CARD THAT I JUST BOUGHT MY HUSBAND. Yep.. I had managed for two years in a row to buy him the same card. I've come to the conclusion that Hallmark must have fallen on tough times and they have not been able to hire new writers or give pay increases to their current ones. That must be the case if only ONE card draws my attention.
The icing on the cake was when my husband gave me THE SAME EXACT CARD that he bought me last year on our anniversary. Honestly, I probably wouldn't have known the difference except I had just cleaned out that drawer of cards. Needless to say, we had quite the laugh. Next year I'm just going to make one out of construction paper and glitter..well, maybe not glitter.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
It Must Be the Week AFTER Vacation
Have you ever noticed that when you come back from vacation, the next week of your life is just filled with STRESS?!? Or is it just me? We had such a relaxing vacation and now I'm running around like a chicken with her head chopped off. I really don't like to juggle so many thoughts in my head at one time and not enough hours in the day to do all that must get done.
I am so thankful that yesterday I took the recommendation of a good friend and went with Chris to a new pediatrician. I love this woman and the fact that she is the cousin of a movie star is just icing on the cake. Anyway, I have several appointments lined up for Chris this week and next so please pray for us. All is well, just getting some guidance and clarification.
I'm so proud of our little man. He's come soooo far in the last year. God is faithful... God is good. Chris just got his best report card yet and it's just awesome to see how God is shaping him into all that he wants him to be... one day at a time. I'm blessed... even in the midst of stress and craziness.
I am so thankful that yesterday I took the recommendation of a good friend and went with Chris to a new pediatrician. I love this woman and the fact that she is the cousin of a movie star is just icing on the cake. Anyway, I have several appointments lined up for Chris this week and next so please pray for us. All is well, just getting some guidance and clarification.
I'm so proud of our little man. He's come soooo far in the last year. God is faithful... God is good. Chris just got his best report card yet and it's just awesome to see how God is shaping him into all that he wants him to be... one day at a time. I'm blessed... even in the midst of stress and craziness.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Where Have You Been?
I didn't mean to stop blogging... let's just say my vacation got the best of me and I've been recuperating. We had a fantastic trip! My birthday/anniversary/Easter celebration was fabulous. Great food, family and an ice cream cake... what more could a woman want? I felt like a princess for the day. Loved it.
have tons of photos that have yet to be transferred from my camera so hopefully in the next day or two I can get those up for you and tell you all our wonderful stories.
On a side note to all of my readers here in the greater NJ area.. I am so excited!! A friend of mine who is a pastry chef and owns her own cookie shop here in Hackettstown, has invited me to participate in an "Evening of Baking and Pampering!" She is teaching 8 students how to make cheesecakes and while they cakes are in the oven baking, I get to showcase our latest and best selling Mary Kay products. It's going to be great. If you live in the area and are interested in more details, please send me an email at bmalave@marykay.com. It's on Monday, April 26th at 6pm and the cost is only $45.00 for the class (which includes the lesson, an apron, the cake, cake pan and of course I'll be handing out a special Mary Kay gift).
Missed you all!
have tons of photos that have yet to be transferred from my camera so hopefully in the next day or two I can get those up for you and tell you all our wonderful stories.
On a side note to all of my readers here in the greater NJ area.. I am so excited!! A friend of mine who is a pastry chef and owns her own cookie shop here in Hackettstown, has invited me to participate in an "Evening of Baking and Pampering!" She is teaching 8 students how to make cheesecakes and while they cakes are in the oven baking, I get to showcase our latest and best selling Mary Kay products. It's going to be great. If you live in the area and are interested in more details, please send me an email at bmalave@marykay.com. It's on Monday, April 26th at 6pm and the cost is only $45.00 for the class (which includes the lesson, an apron, the cake, cake pan and of course I'll be handing out a special Mary Kay gift).
Missed you all!
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Celebrate!!!
What an awesome day today is! Easter Sunday, my birthday AND my wedding anniversary! What more could a girl want! I pray that each of you have a wonderful day as we celebrate our risen Lord.
I will be on the road for the next several days so won't be around to post. Thanks to each of you who already have sent emails and facebook greetings and wishes. Love you all!
Saturday, April 3, 2010
This Is It !
I've been trying to write this blog for several days now and I just couldn't get my thoughts together. Today is my last day as a "30-something" and tomorrow I join the 40 club. What better way to ring in my 40th birthday by celebrating the resurrection of Jesus and my 7th wedding anniversary as well. That's a whole lot to be thankful for on one day.
When I look back on my 30s, there is one consistent theme that comes to mind. God's faithfulness. I realized many dreams in my 30s.. I got married and had our son which was the absolute highlight of these past 10 years. Of course losing my mom and the health issues for both my father and father-in-law were very difficult times. But no matter what I faced, I knew that God was with me, taking care of me and that we were in it together. It's a great feeling when you realize that God is faithful.. no matter what the situation. He will not disappoint you.
So, thank you God for your faithfulness and I'm excited to see where you and I will go in these coming years. Thank you Jesus for being by my side and for my amazing friends who encourage me and love me through each and every trial.
When I look back on my 30s, there is one consistent theme that comes to mind. God's faithfulness. I realized many dreams in my 30s.. I got married and had our son which was the absolute highlight of these past 10 years. Of course losing my mom and the health issues for both my father and father-in-law were very difficult times. But no matter what I faced, I knew that God was with me, taking care of me and that we were in it together. It's a great feeling when you realize that God is faithful.. no matter what the situation. He will not disappoint you.
So, thank you God for your faithfulness and I'm excited to see where you and I will go in these coming years. Thank you Jesus for being by my side and for my amazing friends who encourage me and love me through each and every trial.
Friday, April 2, 2010
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