She entered the kitchen not expecting the sight before her. Her mother was hunched over the kitchen sink with her face in her hands, sobbing. "What's the matter, Mommy? Are you OK? Why are you crying?" With tears streaming down her face, the mother turned to her daughter and said "I'm okay sweetie. I am just missing my Mom. Sometimes I cry because I just miss her so much and wish I could talk to her." The girl went to her mom's side and patted her back. "Don't worry, Mom. You'll see her again someday in heaven, right?" With a little smile, her mom wiped her eyes and said, "That's right honey. It's okay for us to be sad though and miss people that we loved."
This was no ordinary story. It's my story between my mom and I when I was about 7 years old. My mom knew what it was like to lose a mother. She knows the feelings I am feeling today. Today marks the 9th anniversary of my Mom's death. There are days when the emotion is so raw it feels like it just happened. I can't say that I miss her any less. I miss her more - with every milestone in my life that she's missed out on. My wedding.. the birth of my son.. his first steps.. the answers to prayer requests. Oh what I wouldn't do for another phone call with her or to hear her infectious laugh. I often think.. did I show her enough that I loved her? Did I tell her enough? Did I take her for granted? Was she proud of me? I'm not bitter that she's gone. God called her home..it was his perfect time for her. We serve an awesome God - who am I to question his timing. She was suffering with cancer here on earth - but is cancer-free and worshipping the Lord today. Everyday. That's much better than being here on earth...even though I selfishly wanted her to be here longer.
I know that I'm not alone in this. Many of you have lost your parents.. some more recently than others. Time really doesn't change things...except for the picture that I have of her in my mind. When I picture her, I don't see her sick body... I see the young, fun and energetic mom. That's a gift from the Lord, I believe.
What can I do to honor her and her memory? Simple - live my life with the same priorities that she had -- Faith, Family, Friends.
Thank you Lord, for a loving mother who, along with my Dad, showed me the way to live for Christ. I was blessed to have had her in my life for 30 years. Please let her know that her family loves her tremendously and that we look forward to seeing her again someday in heaven.
3 comments:
I feel the same way. I don't see my father hooked up to life support or laying on the basement floor anymore. I see him as he was preaching from the pulpit at Bethlehem. That's the picture I have when I close my eyes. Your mom was a wonderful person and I will always remember her for the dedication she gave to the Lord and on my wedding video not being able to work her camera, finally giving up and handing it to your father to take the picture as I'm coming down the aisle, and then her smile at me as I passed.
What a beautiful tribute to your Mom! I will hug my Mom extra tight today. I pray God will comfort you today and that you will experience his peace in your sadness.
Beth, I feel your sadness..I miss my Dad more as I get older. We still tell great stories about him at family gatherings. I will always remember your Mom. She was a great friend, a great Mom and she loved the Lord with all her heart. When I think of her I see her laughing. Two days before she passed, Sue and I visited her in the hospital and she was laughing! and she told us no matter what happens...God heals her or takes her home, she will WIN! I see a lot of your Mom in you and Ruth. You are in our thoughts and prayers, Love and Hugs,
Aunt Carol and family.
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